A Codependent can get better! This is achieved when they accept that they can only find happiness and success in bringing about change in themselves and not by changing the behaviour of their partner, friend, family member etc. through their help, advice, support and strength (which are a means of control). In order to combat …
In his book “If Love Could Think” Gratch outlines seven patterns of “failed love” relationships that he has observed through treatment of patients. I have included them in this section on Codependency because I personally believe that many of them are reflected in codependent relationships. The first pattern is Narcissistic Love. Narcissists are needy, often self-destructive people …
In America the most widely adopted means of treatment for codependency is attendance of regular meetings at self-help groups such as Co-dependents Anonymous. These groups are organised and run by people who have experienced the particular condition (in this case Codependency). The participants support each other through sharing their experiences and emotionally being there for …
A Dependent doesn’t naturally take responsibility for the consequences of their own behaviour. A Codependent who takes on another persons responsibility doesn’t assist that person to get better by rescuing them, if anything they become more Dependent. This leads to them taking advantage of the Codependent who becomes overburdened, resentful and ultimately angry/vengeful as they …
Beattie stresses that Codependents are reactionaries. They react to other people’s problems, emotions, needs, behaviours etc. and that when these problems, emotions, needs and behaviours become more intense the Codependent reacts more intensely. They become over-involved. “Overinvolvement of any sort can keep us in a state of chaos; it can keep the people around us in …
Beattie has produced a very long list of Characteristics on pg. 42 to 52 of her book. They are categorised in the following groups, Care taking, Low Self-Worth, Repression, Obsession, Controlling, Denial, Dependency, Poor Communication, Weak Boundaries, Lack of Trust, Anger, Sex Problems, Miscellaneous and Progressive. Below is a selection of some of the behaviours and …
In the article “Healthy Narcissism vs Unhealthy Narcissism” we explained that when people behave in highly narcissistic ways it can be unhealthy, it is the same for those who have too low a level of narcissism. We all need a certain level of narcissism and self-preservation to stay alive and take care of our own …
“We have known for a long time that feelings of superiority and inferiority exist together. If one is on top, the other is underneath.” Lowen [1, pg. 20] The origins of NPD are believed to develop from abuse/lack of empathic parental care in the earliest years of life. BPD may also have it’s origins at this early …
Despite suffering from a greater narcissistic disturbance, the prognosis for successful treatment of a patient with BPD is better than that of a patient with NPD. Those with BPD are more likely to be referred for help based on their self-harming behaviour and thanks to their guilty feelings in periods of regret they are more …
The trauma sustained from sexual abuse is more likely to lead to a greater dissociation with reality as the child attempts to block out what has been done to them by someone they love and depend upon (if the abuser is a member of their family). As girls are more likely to be sexually abused …
