If you’re in family court, you’re dealing with psychological abuse and control.
Most parents who separate, around 90%, can agree on arrangements for their child without going to court.
When a case gets to family court, at least one parent is struggling with control.
Child psychological abuse and control
Every child has the right to a safe and caring relationship with a good-enough parent and wider family. Keeping these connections helps protect children from harm.
At the same time, children must be kept safe from any parent who is a significant risk. That parent should be offered support to heal from their own trauma, so they can give their child better care in the future.
If psychological abuse is not stopped, it can damage a child’s emotional and mental growth.
This harm can affect the child for their whole life, as well as their family, the wider community, and even future generations.
Ex psychological abuse and control.
When a relationship ends, a parent with strong control issues may try to keep controlling their ex.
Often, they do this by using their child as a weapon.
For example:
- A parent who has been physically or sexually abusive, and whose child has witnessed that abuse, may go to court claiming they are unfairly being denied contact with their child.
- A parent who feels insecure or abandoned by their ex, may try to keep the child close and damage the child’s bond with the other parent.
When a parent employs psychological control to reject a parent, it is child abuse. This is the focus of this website.
Other forms of abuse exist and if you want to understand those, Right to Love recommends visiting Women’s Aid or ManKind.
Our leaflet provides a brief overview of the issue of psychological control where a child is controlled to reject a parent. See our resources section for further information.
When an ex‑partner uses psychological abuse, it often comes from fear of losing the relationship.
This behaviour is usually an attempt to regain control, and in more serious cases, a way to seek revenge.
In court, a full assessment is needed to understand how the family functions, identify risks, and provide a treatment plan that supports better outcomes for children.
Separated Parent Policy for Schools
Right to Love has created a FREE legally-approved template for schools. It helps schools protect their staff and support a child’s bond with the parent they don’t live with.