“We have known for a long time that feelings of superiority and inferiority exist together. If one is on top, the other is underneath.” Lowen [1, pg. 20]
The origins of NPD are believed to develop from abuse/lack of empathic parental care in the earliest years of life. BPD may also have it’s origins at this early stage but the traumatic abuse (physical, sexual etc.) that is usually experienced by those with BPD can also be the cause of their personality disturbance at a much later age.
People with BPD are Narcissist’s because they focus solely on getting their own needs and wants fulfilled. They are placed in the middle of Lowen’s “spectrum of narcissistic disorders” [1, pg. 14]. The symptoms of NPD and BPD overlap and as such making a clear cut diagnosis is not always easy for a Therapist. However, it is accepted that those with BPD are more disturbed as they are more likely to suffer from splitting and disassociation. They can experience hallucinations, delusions and thought disorders. Those with NPD tend not to exhibit these afflictions. As a result a sufferer of BPD’s grasp of reality is much less secure than that of a person with NPD hence the placement of the condition at the middle of Lowen’s spectrum. Some would argue that there is the need for another scale within the scope of BPD to differentiate between those with milder borderline tendencies and those who verge on the psychotic.
Narcissist’s may also suffer from splitting and both the Narcissist and those with BPD have a tendency towards inflation and devaluation of others, transferring their secret feelings/views of themselves on to those they interact with. They tend not to be able to see another persons good and bad traits at the same time.
Both suffer from depression and cover up their insecurities via a false Self which helps them to project a grandiose image. They deny their feelings and manipulate others but the false Self of someone with BPD “readily crumbles under emotional stress, and the person reveals the helpless and frightened child within.” thus indicating that those with NPD have a stronger sense of Self. [1, pg. 18].
While those with BPD tend to have grandiose perceptions of themselves e.g. being superior to others or being irresistible to the opposite sex they are afraid to follow through with their convictions. Lowen [1, pg. 19] states that “narcissistic characters do not hold back. They have the necessary aggression to achieve some degree of success, suggesting an ego strength that the borderline personality lacks.” This doesn’t sound as good for the Narcissist as is implied because their grandiosity is still far from reality.
Narcissist’s may have a stronger sense of Self but this is a result of consistently being pumped up by others. Their ego “has never truly been smashed down” by their parents. Lowen [1, pg. 20]. As a result of their stronger ego they are less likely to self-harm, less likely to commit suicide (because they see it as a sign of weakness) and they are less impulsive. That is not to say that traumatic life events in their future e.g. ill health, divorce, death of a significant Narcissistic Supply Source, financial loss etc. will not result in breaking their inflated ego as they fail to live up to their grandiose fantasies. If this happens and Narcissistic Supply (NS) is not in abundant supply Narcissist’s can also respond with despair and may even seek to end their own lives.
The acquisition of NS is of vital importance to both personality structures. A Narcissist will derive their NS from extracting admiration and acknowledgement from others but unlike those with BPD they are not reliant on the presence of another person in order for them to feel “whole”.
Sufferers of BPD experience guilt for not being good enough, for being victims of abuse they feel they deserve. Narcissist’s on the other hand do not experience guilt. They only experience shame and fear of humiliation if their false image is called in to question.
Unlike those who suffer from NPD, those with BPD are capable of great empathy. In the case of those who have experienced abuse they are able to recognise or associate the painful feelings that are/may be experienced by others.
Both those with BPD and the Narcissist rarely admit they have a psychological problem but those with BPD are more likely to come to the attention of the mental health profession at a younger age. Their capacity to experience guilt makes it more likely they will go in to therapy in search of help and the existence of a medical cause for BPD makes it treatable in part through medicine. These factors mean that the treatment of BPD is more likely to be a success than the treatment for NPD. However, any treatment requires commitment from the patient for it’s continued success.