Right to Love has developed a set of images highlighting that in the lives of growing children, every second counts.
Looking at Attachment Strategies we know children develop strategies to adapt to different levels of danger. They develop patterns of behaviour and ways of looking at the world based on their experiences. Without the right assessments and interventions, children at risk of harm through Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), of which family separation is one, can find themselves living with the impacts of their childhood experience for the rest of their lives
Children who have been subjected to parenting which is not good-enough and who have been triangulated into parental conflict may find harmful mechanisms to deal with their trauma, possibly re-living the same patterns with their own partners and children. Some may be determined not repeat the same mistakes in future relationships and end up creating different issues.
Tomorrow is not promised, sometimes life is over too quickly. Where the wrong decisions are made in family courts children and parents can pay with their lives through abuse, illness brought on by chronic stress, self-harm and suicide. Children and parents who have been subject to psychological abuse previously desperate to reconnect, may never have the chance or they find each other too late. A lifetime of grief, guilt and likely anger where some may not be able to find light in the dark.
Some family court professionals advise parents who have lost their child to “wait, they may change their minds when they are older”. It’s hard to see how such advice can be supported. Families going through family court need early assessment by qualified, skilled and experienced professionals based on the risk presented. If we want to improve outcomes, every second counts.
